do you live in a cabin in the woods?

Isn't that the witchy dream???? At least, it is for me. I don't live in a cabin though, I live in east van and in a quite urban environment. ⁠

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I need to live close to resources, like my audiologist, doctor, etc., and all of those things are in the city. I am in the doctors office, or some kind of medical appointment every 1-2 weeks, so unfortunately to my cabin-envy wishes, those services are here and not in the woods, so a city dweller am I.⁠

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I do make sure that go into the deep bush, and spend time in nature. With people, but also with my self. I try to get away even if its just for a day or 2 a few times a year. It helps a lot when I do it. If I can't afford it (mentally, physically, or financially, etc) I will spend a lot of time in parks, and find a nice tree to ground with. ⁠

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You do what you can, where you can, how you can. It's not about living the perfect life for me. It's about doing what works and finding pleasure where you can. ⁠

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Where do you live? If you had to choose between physicial, mental health resources, or medical resources and living in a naturey environment, what would you choose? For a lot of wooded folks I know, they felt like if they lived in the city it would be worse, so their self care looks different than mine. Everyone has their own choices. ⁠

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Would love to hear your thoughts, and hear about your choices too. - Heidi⁠

// Originally posted on Instagram on December 31st, 2022.

do you cut your own hair?

YES YES I do! If you want to know how to home cut a shag hair cut, long or short, it is very easy and I will describe the steps below:

1. comb your hair

2. for straight hair, make sure that it is more or less flat. if you have wavy hair, or differently textured hair, you can dampen it and then cut it. or just leave it be, your choice. you know your hair best.

3. put your hair upside down. if you want, brush your hair upside down. i don't brush my hair upside down, but you are welcome to if you like that sort of thing.

4. grab the end of your hair and pull it away from your hair like you have an imaginary unicorn horn or narwhale horn.

5. cut the tip of your horn where you want the longest part of hair to be.

6. make an intention with your hair to release or renew something and compost it. for me i do this while my head is upside down and the cut hair is already in my hand.

7. stand up straight, fluff your hair and see how your hair lies now. it should be in shag hair cut, with your hair in different layers.

8. if you want shorter bangs, you can cut those shorter after. you can use this process to cut long bangs though, that's what i have.

ASIDE for me the shortest part of my hair is my bangs, which are chin length, and the longest part of my hair is mid back. i cut them all in one horn, so all my hair gets cut at once.

i used this haircut to go from short shag - where the longest part was my normal length bangs - to go to a long shag where i grew my bangs, and with it the rest of my hair, out to a longer length.

repeat every 6-8 weeks or as needed! tag me in any attempts that you do if you post it on insta or feel free to dm me the photos too. xox heidi.

// Originally posted on Instagram on December 19th, 2022.

you are not very nice

I agree! I live with myself and I am not as nice as I want to be. I am pretty blunt and straightforward, detail focussed, while wanting to engage with the over all picture. This can totally come off as rude. It's also an autistic trait, which interests me because I have recently been verbally diagnosed as having autism. ⁠

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So yes, I think some of me not being very nice is because honestly I know myself and I have inner work and unlearning to do, and some endless reparenting while I'm at it. ⁠

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And some of it I think is a cultural expectation of what niceness looks like. Most of the time we look at what's right and wrong, as what is culturally acceptable, which is for the most part, through a neurotypical lens of what reality is. ⁠

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I don't take this as an excuse to acting poorly - I don't want to blame my uncompliance with my autism any more than I want to excuse away any behaviour. ⁠

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The thing that I find is really funny, and have a daily chuckle about is that when I am being genuine and not mean at all, folks will find that rude. Which is picking up on autistic traits, and that would be ableist and centreing a neurotypical bias. ⁠

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When I am being mean and I know I am acting poorly. Because I am very charismatic and a good communicator, folks often let me get away with it. When I know I can do better. Not to be harsh on yourself, but I hope I am speaking with people who understand the line between self criticism and being too hard on yourself, and looking at yourself with loving awareness and seeing that you are in a tantrum and no this should not be ok with the people around you.⁠

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You know what I mean? Maybe not, but I really hope so. This stuff is vague and detailed, and truth is often in the details. So hopefully this resonates with you and was an interesting, and best case scenario, and helpful thing to read today.⁠

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- Heidi⁠

// Originally posted on Instagram on December 22nd, 2022.